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Yearning For Our Cosmic Home

3/18/2020

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I knew a woman back in my early 20’s.  Her name was Leopara.  She was quite a colorful and magical character. For a short time our souls connected deeply. She shared with me her deep spiritual connection with the ancient pagan goddesses like Hecate and Athena.  One time my friend Samantha paid a visit to my dorm room while Leopara was there. Samantha was a powerful psychic and as she was talking the presence of the goddess Athena started to speak through Samantha.  The goddess told Leopara that it was not her time to return to the realm of the gods.  Leopara looked beyond devastated when she heard this and tears streamed down her face.
 
“But I want to go home!” she sobbed.  I could see these tears were coming from a very deep place within her soul. 
 
This was the first time I witnessed the deep and painful desire of someone who I would call a Cosmic Being, or perhaps known in other circles as a ‘Star Seed’ yearn for what is called their Cosmic Home. Some of us may know this spiritual being and the deep yearning that comes with it.  You may even be one yourself. 
 
The realization of this unique spiritual nature reveals itself in many ways. I can go by my own experience -   You begin to see you don’t fit in.  Perhaps you start to realize it when you are very young.  You are more sensitive to things, more introspective and introverted. You experience the strange paradox where avenues of expression like creativity and intuition come naturally yet mundane rituals and everyday responsibilities are far harder to grasp.  Your imagination is strong so you escape from mundane reality into your own fantasy realms.  As you get older this natural introspection eventually leads to the calling of your spiritual path and in time that’s when the first spark of realization hits you. 
 
You are different because you realize the Earth is not your original home.
 
You knew this is in the back of your mind in one form or another. Your realization brings more clarity to all the signs the Universe has given you over the years.  Your eyes then turn to the stars for now you know amongst those stars your true home may reside.  From that place the yearning is acknowledged.
 
I don’t wish to explore the origins of one’s original past life Cosmic Home.  I’m sure there are many articles and books that have already guided one to that possibility. I wish to explore the place where our Cosmic Self and Human Self converge.  That is the place where people feel the yearning for their Cosmic Home.  For some this yeaning may inspire them on their spiritual journey. For others such a yearning can cause much suffering and division within oneself.  
 
The positive aspect of this yearning is it can be sparked by the Divine itself.  Imagine a newly planted seed.  The seed breaks forth and it’s first stem grows upward through the darkness of the earth.  It knows nothing but it’s nature to push upwards no matter how hard so it may reach the surface and into the Light.  You don’t have to have a cosmic home to understand this spiritual desire. The metaphor of the earth determines how we are brought to this Light. Sometimes the earth is rich and fertile. Other times the earth is cold, rocky, and infertile.  Such a metaphor determines how either rewarding or incredibly painful our journey towards the Light can be.

I had a client (I’ll call her Nina) She shared with me her history of sexual and physical abuse.  This caused her to experience deep depression and feelings of suicidal ideation. Yet at the same time she was deeply spiritual who believed she too had a Cosmic Home.  The trauma within her bore a terrible conflict and at times she could not see past her own suffering. She completely rejected her humanity for the sake of her Spiritual Cosmic Home.  For Nina leaving her physical body and returning home was the only escape from her pain. 
 
I’ve observed the issue of wanting to escape the body becomes part of the darkness of spiritual yearning. Rejecting the body and our humanity is nothing new.  Many religions perpetuate the belief that the body is something to be shamed and our humanity is inherently sinful. As ‘enlightened’ as the New Age movement claims itself to be beliefs that reject the body for the sake of our Spiritual Light still exists.  With this rejection Spiritual Light can lose its true meaning and become a mental projection of extreme comparisons –
 
My body and humanity are ‘imperfect’ so I must strive for the Light which is ‘completely perfect.’ Thus all my ‘imperfect pain and suffering’ within my humanity will be ‘perfectly transcended’ by the ‘perfect Light.’
 
This misleading belief can also apply to those who yearn for their spiritual home.  For me, to think of a cosmic home was like stepping through a door of ethereal Light that brought me to a higher dimension.  Once you entered this dimension you were completely free of all that brought you pain and limitation.  There’s nothing wrong with this belief and I can agree with it in some cases.  But humanities need for escape becomes an addiction, so escaping ‘into the Light’ becomes yet another addiction.  It takes us farther away from our true selves and not closer.
 
My story with Nina is just one extreme case and does not apply to all who may experience this yearning. For some it may occur as a deep feeling of sadness where one does not feel they truly belong anywhere.  I have known that sadness because deep down I knew the concept of Home was a place deep in my soul which I had not yet reached.  The only exception I felt was the connection of other soulmates.  Soulmates resonate with the intuitive familiarity that we’ve known them for many lifetimes. They resonate with the knowledge that we’ve known them in our original Cosmic Home eons ago. 
 
As spiritual beings it becomes important to assert great awareness in distinguishing the difference between the Light that sparks our desire and the pain that wants to escape our humanity.  Yearning for our cosmic home can become a form of spiritual bypassing. A belief that returning to our Cosmic Home, or invalidating our humanity for the sake of our cosmic home, is the answer to our problems instead of going within our humanity, healing our pain, and embodying our Light from within.
 
As to those who wish to bring healing to this yearning I can offer advice from my own experience. 
 
1 – We must strive to embrace and heal our humanity. 
 
No matter how far we’ve come spiritually the belief that the physical is less divine than the higher spiritual realms still persists.  The most common issue that prevents us from embodying the divine is our own pain.  Even from an early age many have learned not to be fully present in our body because it never felt emotionally safe. I’ve worked with several clients who carried this type of emotional disassociation. Healing emotional disassociation and varying forms of repression is a lifelong task.  With each layer of trauma we heal brings a deeper expression of wholeness that makes us feel safe to be fully present within our bodies and also fully present within our own lives. Wholeness at its center reveals the Souls knowledge we have a deeper purpose in our contribution to humanity.
 
2 – We must embrace the planet Earth as a True Sacred Dimension no different than the divine cosmic realms we yearn for and idealize. 
 
So many of us has lost our connection to the Earth.  We look around and become overwhelmed by the pain, suffering, pollution, war, and corruption that plagues our world.  Combine that with the everyday struggle of our lives and we easily forget that our bodies are not only a creation of Gaia but also Her gift. I know many have felt the temptation to leave Earth for the very reason of how sick and dark our planet has become.  Connecting with the Earth becomes vital.  Since our bodies are an extension of Gaia’s creation we must carefully listen to the Earth’s natural lifeforce to understand what our contribution is to bring healing to Mother Earth.
 
3 – We must commune with our Soul and Higher Self to embody our purpose here on Earth.
 
The temptation of escape also involves how we imagine the kind of beings we were within our cosmic home.  We envision ourselves as beings of a higher light and frequency able to transcend time and space within a higher state of consciousness. Comparing that to who  we are now makes our human existence seem quite dull. We easily forget the truth that we already are these beings of higher vibration and consciousness.  The only challenge as physical beings is the realization and embodiment of this Truth.
 
The density of the physical and linear challenges us greatly. To finally reach higher levels of consciousness we must constantly meditate and commune with our Soul/Higher Self because only then will we understand true embodiment of our Souls Purpose. All humans contain the soul’s karmic memory of all the choices we made that’s brought us to this point in our soul’s evolution. 

​As we commune with our Soul/Higher Self we can actually embody the actual Soul Choice that brought us here to Earth.
 
I am blessed to say I have gone beyond the yearning for my Cosmic Home.  My Souls intuition knows the Earth is not my original home but thanks to my own healing and growth I have embodied this one Truth that keeps me in the present moment – “My Souls Being and Purpose exists in the Here and Now.”  The path to embodying this truth is a challenging one but as spiritual beings must always have faith.
 
Your Light and True Cosmic Nature exists fully in this moment. To embrace your Light in the Now is the doorway to all other answers
 
(All observations I make is simply my observations. I make no unilateral judgements and I’m completely open to learning more on this issue. For those who read my observations I invite you to take only the insights that resonate with you and leave the rest.)



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Healing The Falsehood Of 'Muggle' Bias

12/17/2019

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I’ll be honest with you – I never read the Harry Potter books. I knew myself well enough to know my inner-child would be so hooked I’d have to add it to an ever increasing list of distractions in my life.  I did see some of the movies which I did enjoy.  The one thing I took from those movies was the concept of “muggles.”  In the beginning my spiritual cosmic weirdo self loved the term.  Who wouldn’t right? An awesome affirmation aimed at so-called non-believers who brought you nothing but aggravation with their lack of imagination, skepticism, and inability to see past their everyday lives.   
 
With each Harry Potter book coming out, along with each Harry Potter movie the term “muggle” grew by leaps and bounds. Spiritual friends and colleagues of mine would revel in the term.  It brought a clarity to one’s spiritual identity.  A satisfying and convenient comparison that said, “See, I’m not ordinary like ‘them.’ I spiritually believe in something. I’m special. I think outside the box.” 
 
I’m guilty of using the term muggle.  I’ve also used the other popular term “mundane.” One time I even got creative and coined the term “caterpillars.” It certainly made sense. Before one blossoms into the beautiful butterfly you are first the simple caterpillar unaware of the transformation that is about to happen. Perhaps this last description helped me to see past my own so-called muggle bias.  The metaphor began to reveal a simple yet enlightening truth - 
 
We were ALL once caterpillars and if you have forgotten this fact that becomes the true problem.  
 
The “muggle” mentality is more than just not believing in something spiritual or just living in the boring everyday world.  It is a mentality that holds deeper roots in a mental, emotional, and psychological mindset that when closely observed reveals we all possess similar traits. 
 
As human beings we all struggle, we all suffer, and at times we all feel powerless to the experiences in our lives.  In an ideal world this truth could bind us more in a solidarity of compassion regarding our human struggles.  But what’s also very human is the universal mentality of denying the parts of ourselves we don’t like and projecting that dislike onto other people. Dislike of so-called “muggles” is a big psychological projection most of the time.
 
I had a friend (I’ll call him Anthony) who was very active in the pagan community. He practiced his own brand of magic with the totem animal of jaguar and communed with the ancient Viking gods like Odin and Thor.  One time we went into a store with a friend and after a quick altercation with another customer who clearly wasn’t pagan Anthony looks at me, shakes his head, and in a snarky tone exclaims, “Muggles!”  What I found ironic about that remark was Anthony was in a place of utter struggle in his life. He broke his thumb so that effected his ability to work. His truck needed repair so any work he did have would make it difficult to travel.  Many times he shared how trapped he felt in the town he lived in and in his life in general. I did try my best to ease his feelings of despair and powerlessness but to no true avail.  If the story about Anthony’s struggle sounds familiar, it’s probably because such a story is one you could accuse a “muggle” of having -
 
A life that is taken prisoner with limitation, powerlessness, and shackling of tedious everyday rituals.
 
 Anthony’s “muggle” judgement may come across as hypocritical but I hold space in the understanding of another very human mindset.  Sometimes on the Path we are so focused on the Light that we deny looking back at the darkness that shaped us.  So if there are parts of oneself that are still wounded and unhealed, those parts we deny can mirror back in our outer reality. 
 
I am also friends with a married couple who I find to be very magical beings. Every time I enter their house I feel the beautiful energy and magic they possess dance all around them. I know if they held more faith in their magic when they were younger they would have manifested more happiness in their lives much sooner.  What they both had in common was backgrounds of similar family trauma.  This trauma reinforced the diminishment of their self-esteem, reinforced beliefs of painful struggle and general feelings of powerlessness to the obstacles in their lives. I have no doubt during childhood they naturally connected with their magic from a place of innocence and wonder.  It then became quashed by the emotional dysfunctions of their parents who certainly could not see anything past their own pain and suffering.
 
Everyone to some degree has learned this unconscious conditioning of struggle, survival, and powerlessness. This is one of the strongest mirrors that spiritual and non-spiritual alike resist and deflect onto others.   As children we all have the potential to express the authentic magic of our souls.  As we got older we may begin to unlearn this potential.  The learned dysfunctions and traumas reinforce the repression of our Souls potential to the point where some could claim it does not even exist.  The mirror of this repression plays itself out in many ways.  As we reject the natural parts of our humanity we begin to reject the aspects of humanity that surround us.  This then becomes part of a core illusion of duality –
 
The Light I cannot see in myself is the Light I cannot see in others.
 
Why is it so hard to see this Light in all people?  I can only speak from my own experience.  It’s a flexing of a spiritual muscle that becomes a lifelong practice.  Seeing the Light in ourselves so we may see the Light in others is no simple task and should never be underestimated.  I’m fortunate to have a powerful healing modality that I use to heal and bring light to all those places of pain and shadow within myself.  As I find the courage within to heal my pain, my fear, my struggle… The healing then transcends itself into my outer reality and clears the mirror I project onto life.  As I go deeper into my Light I begin to realize the truth that many spiritual people avoid.  Light does not take me away from my humanity. My Light brings me deeper into my humanity. There I see what true Oneness really means.  My pain becomes your pain. My Light becomes your Light.  The realization of this Oneness becomes the true nature of compassion. All things are divinely interconnected in both Light and darkness. 
 
I know it is not always as simple as a spiritual person not liking a non-spiritual person because of what reflects back at them.  For many non-spiritual people there are those who can be truly negative and emotionally toxic. Those people should definitely be avoided and healthy emotional boundaries must be implemented. When a non-spiritual person comes from a place of emotional toxicity it can emotionally and energetically drag others down with them.  Another issue to consider is the extent of how toxic people drag others down, is sometimes exacerbated by the unresolved emotional wounds within oneself that unconsciously allow one to be dragged into that misery.  This can manifest in issues of codependence and various addictions of negativity. I myself have experienced this unhealthy addiction in various degrees. This denial of shadow-self and misplaced fear becomes yet another facet of what motivates “muggle” bias and what motivated my own bias.
 
I know this to be true –  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A SPIRITUAL PERSON TO BE A “NON-MUGGLE”  The best example I have is my own father.  He has proclaimed himself an atheist.  But in no time in my life have I ever considered him to exist in a “mundane” reality.  I grew up with my fathers intellectual brilliance, his charm and charismatic personality that could envelop an entire room, his incredible business savvy and success, plus his razor sharp wit.  My father has always been larger than life and that brings home an important point.  The lifeforce and/or Soulforce that exists within a being does NOT need a spiritual belief to shine forth. In the end, like the sun, it simply shines whether you see it or not.  We must always remember the true transcendent nature of our Soulforce.  I have seen so many clients over the years who have been nightmarishly beaten down by the darkness and trauma of their lives but the true nature of who they are still shines forth with incredible Light and vitality. 
 
The Divine spark of the Soul exists within all beings. Just because we do not see this Light does not mean it’s not there.  Is there a part of me that resists the notion of a Divine Spark existing in person who is evil?  Of course.   I can assume that is a level of “spiritual flexing” that I have not yet reached.  Which is fine because in the grand divine scheme of things this is not a competition. 
 
We are all where we are meant to be. Spiritual and non-spiritual people alike.  

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A New Beginning

8/19/2019

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 Greetings and welcome to my new website blog!

I've added new additions to my website which have been a long time coming.  All new additions  I make in a timely fashion to bring more healing and expansion to not only my healing business but also to the issue of abundance. 

Merlin and the Divine has been very generous with me these many years.  I have experienced much success and popularity with a great influx of clients  But one cannot rest on ones laurels and OH BOY do I have a lot of work on this issue.  Though I have confidence with my skills as a healer my relationship with business has been a challenging one.  In my family my father and my brother were the one's who made business look "effortless"  I was the sensitive artist type and the concept of business was nothing but intimidating.  I carried that insecurity into adulthood. 

I have done many healings on myself with the VortexHealing® protocol.  I have released much anxiety on the issue of money. I've released many core beliefs that say I'm not powerful or capable of having a successful business.  Each healing became a pealing away of layers like an onion.  It created an ever continuing confrontation and transformation of my fears and doubts.

After a powerful 
VortexHealing® class in April I experienced a profound deepening of awakening and all signs began to point to the next level of growth for my healing business. 

I read a quote just yesterday, "In order for you to grow the Universe may either bring in many things at once to test your power. Or it will take away everything to test your will to manifest what you want."

That last part couldn't be more accurate! 

Clients began to dwindle and I was forced to confront all places within myself that still held doubt, resistance, and avoidance to what I had to do.  It became a reminder that though I had experienced much success in the past my remaining doubts and hidden blocks could not be overlooked.   

We can find ourselves in a good place of financial and emotional security but we must be truly honest with ourselves if there is a part of our lives that feel lacking.  We must not be afraid of coming across as ungrateful.  The Universe always wants us to grow.  Security is a fine accomplishment in the everyday practicality of our lives but the True accomplishment is when we become a powerful force of expression.  A force that flows, grows, adapts, and changes with all the challenges in our lives.  This is the embodiment of True Being. With each challenge in our life this Flow adds to the growth and wisdom of our inner and outer reality.

I now release all the blocks to the Divine Flow within me and step forth into this new reality of Abundance.

Blessings 
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    Simon Deacon

    Professional Energy Healer 
    -VortexHealing®
    -Intuitive Counselor
    -Enjoying some insightful articulation on my blog. 

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